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Betty and I were talking about our supper plans for New Year's Eve and that we had nine o'clock reservations but planned to be home for the midnight toasting with a special bottle of Champagne I'd bought."Oh, I may be hanging out at home New Year's Eve, too, Dad," my son told me, "just some buddies from college, Dad."Well, I figured that Betty and I can take our bottle of bubbly to the hot tub, get nice and naked and toast in the New Year while Jake and his buds get plowed watching the ball drop on TV. So, that was set.We got home about eleven fifteen and there were several cars parked out front so we rolled into the garage and went in the house.As we walked through the great room toward the covered patio where the hot tub was, we began seeing piles of clothes here and there, one with a bra folded on the top. "Well, well," I told Betty as I pointed.I slid open the slider and there was Jake, in the hot tub, with three naked girls, all of them holding beers in their hands."Oh, so these. .”... “Why am I getting taxed twice for...”... “What do you mean Charitable donations are capped at...”... “I give. Where do I sign.”... “Do villains pay taxes, and is it too late to be one?”“Moria pays taxes.”“She sucks too. Accountants are worse than Mr. Peabody. I didn’t think that was possible.” I didn’t bother holding in the laugh that followed that remark, knowing I would get hit either way.Thunk.I was right.“Where are we going? I am NOT in the mood for pizza.”... “Essex County range? ... Maybe this might not suck. Let me guess, my shotgun is in the trunk?”“It is.”“This is the first time you let me shoot in public.”“You’re eighteen.” I explained her question away with that simple answer. “As long as you don’t miss, you should get more fans.”“You suck for not telling me earlier.” Replying to my taunt while removing the case and tote out of the trunk, Cat allowed me to lead the way.The late Wednesday arrival drew eyes, as Cat lugged her case while I was stuck holding the bag. Not.
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